Jane and I have been doing sessions for 2 months, once a week. I must say right away, these are not easy sessions. The pace of breathing and depth, different from the normal breathing, is work. The first time I was ready to take a break in about half an hour. My head ached, my eyelids began to twitch, and I felt like my entire body had frozen. But I made it to the end of the session and I was rewarded. After I returned to normal breathing, I felt an unusual lightness inside, as if a heavy load had dropped off my chest. I have long-term problems with sleep, but the night after the session I quickly fell asleep and slept very soundly all night.

The second and third times there were also spasms, but Jane said that accumulated stress was being “let go.” And there were many stressors over the years. One of my unresolved problems is my relationship with my mother: harbored childhood resentments. I was an excellent student, winner of regional and city Olympiads in chemistry and English, and a Komsomol member. But I was practically not praised. Dissatisfaction was expressed if there was at least one “B”. Over time, an inferiority complex developed – it was as if I was trying to prove all my actions, accomplishments, and that I deserved my mother’s love – I was very professionally successful.

After the death of my husband’s and my father, we took my mother in to live with us. And then my already complicated relationship with my mom went haywire. I was torn between work, two moms and problems with my son. And my mother, who began to develop Alzheimer’s, began to do everything out of spite. We often quarreled, swore, my mother brought me to tears. She demanded love and attention, and I didn’t have the strength. After she passed away 6 years ago, I felt guilty that I could not show her the tenderness and care that she needed. I often saw her in my dreams and woke up crying. During one of the sessions with Jane, I began to ask myself to let go of this feeling of guilt. At first there was a sharp pain in my left side, I was on the verge of jumping up, stopping, but Jane asked me to continue breathing and soon the pain dissipated. At the end of the session, I was weak, I had to lie down. But after that, there was a feeling that my mother forgave me, I stopped seeing her in my dreams, and the feeling of bitterness had gone.

Now I can say that although not all past crises have been worked out, it has become easier internally, sleep has become calmer. I would recommend to those who find it difficult to cope with internal crisis and anxiety, and have unresolved trauma, to try this technique. What are you risking? Nothing. And having internal balance is priceless.

-M.D.